Pretty Hurts

This song has possibly just converted me into a Beyonce fan. Recently, I heard people talking about a ‘stiletto camp’ that was being run by a beauty pageant, which I found out later was Miss Universe New Zealand. I’m shocked that these competitions still exist. It’s great that there is a little more emphasis on the minds and intellectual thoughts of the entrants than there was before, but there is nothing empowering in beauty pageantry.

Fashion, beautiful clothes, heels, and make-up are all so much fun, and I love them, but not when they start to define us. Of course, intellectualism and physical beauty are not mutually exclusive, but we have to wonder, as women are reaching higher levels of education than ever before, why are we still continuing to rely on and resort to physical beauty? We want respect and equality, but when we support and praise conventional ideals of beauty, what message are we actually sending?

The awful tragedy in Isla Vista last week reveals just how detrimental the idea of ‘perfection’ is when it infiltrates our psyche. It’s astounding that any self-respecting woman would put herself up to be judged and objectified in such a manner, or pay any attention to a competition that has made ‘Keep Calm and Wear a Tiara’ its slogan. A couple of years ago there was also talk of an American company looking to bring child pageantry to NZ. Why any parent would even consider entering their child is beyond me.

And we wonder why insecurity, over-sexualisation, misogyny, eating disorders, and depression continue to plague society. As a nation that became the first to give women the vote, why are we still entering and supporting such ridiculous competitions?

I’m not saying that we should disregard ‘fashion’ altogether, but I think it’s important to be critical of what we are feeding our minds.

I.V. I Love You

This past week has been one filled with sadness, pain, and horror at the terrifying events that took place in Isla Vista, Santa Barbara; the same streets and neighbourhood I called home last year. Through all the dark talk about the NRA, misogyny, and politics, has shone the beautiful light of I.V. and UCSB’s community coming together in love and support. It hurts not being there, but you are all so inspiring and I love you so much. I will always believe that guns have no place in everyday society, and feel upset and angry that in some places the fear is made very real. The gunman’s actions cannot in full be blamed on his weapons, but the ease at which he could legally obtain three firearms and over 400 rounds is astounding. His twisted ideology highlights the importance of women’s rights, not for the quick call upon feminism, but because blaming his actions on insanity is not enough. He felt entitled to women, and there is something so devastatingly wrong with that. It is something that must be universally addressed, here in New Zealand too where groups like the Roast Busters are not dealt with seriously enough. To honour these victims and others worldwide we must change our mentality and the way we treat and talk about these cases, and in doing so, help prevent more atrocities from occurring.

Blues

I have been in Santa Barbara for exactly one week, and have been kept very busy up until today, with readings and study to be done, meeting lots of new people, getting things organised, going to parties, and  hiking. I'm sitting inside my dorm with my roommates, talking about boys and clothes, sipping strawberry wine. I was looking through old photos of home when I get an email from a really good friend who lives far away. Someone who understands what it is like to live away from home, to feel like everything is new and exciting, but also that there must come a time when the travelling, bohemian lifestyle, and dreaming must change; because there are responsibilities that we have to keep.

I love and adore being here so much; and am so grateful for this opportunity, but this is the first time I have felt truly homesick, I'm tired, I miss him so much, and all I can do is sit here and cry. Maybe it is goodbye, I really don't know.

But tomorrow is a new day, and for that I am excited.

Santa Barbara

Arrived in Santa Barbara on Sunday! Can't believe this is actually happening - it all feels very surreal. Have already met many wonderful people and adore the Spanish inspired architecture of the whole town. For some reason I have managed not to be too affected by jetlag (yet?); went to sleep at 9pm local time and woke up at 6am. I hope this lasts! Excited for a new day exploring.

Goodbye

I took these photographs on a small snapshot camera just the other day; the sun was shining, the clouds were dancing, and the water was beautiful. Today was my last day in the country until I return home again in seven months. It's a strange feeling, almost nostalgic and homesick for something I haven't yet left behind. I'm going to miss summer here and most of all, I'm going to miss everyone - but I am also so excited and nervous about living overseas.

Banks

After many trips to the bank recently, with a mixed bag of good and bad service, it was so wonderful to get help from a super friendly teller this afternoon; he sorted out everything for me and even waited until I had remembered the question that I had forgotten. He was also pretty cute. Afterwards I went to walk the length of the beach a couple of times, reading a travel novel while the water splashed around my ankles. It's always the little things that make life great. I'mma gonna miss spending summer here, but looking forward to new adventures overseas!

Finito

Ahhh art school marks were released today! My heart is still racing after checking online about half an hour ago. With the confirmation of grades, my exchange is definitely happening! I start class at UCSB in exactly one month. God is so good and so glorious. Words cannot even begin to express how grateful and relieved I am right now. Massive thank you to my amazing family and friends who have helped and supported me through the best and the worst; through late nights and early mornings, extreme excitement and tearful stress - I could not have done any of this without you.

One Month

In exactly one month I will be in the United States of America for the very first time!

Ventisettesima

È la ventisettesima nuovamente. Undici mesi fa. E quasi un anno. Hai preso parte del mio cuore con te.

Luna Rossa

This morning, before heading in to uni, I chatted with a friend who lives in Germany for over an hour online; was lovely to catch up after not having really talked to him for a year. We talked about travel, food, and language; three of the most wonderful things in the world. I think experience is what creates life; more than possessions or even knowledge, it is experiencing things, no matter how big or small, how seemingly monumental or trivial, that is important. It is about moments.

As the bus drove over the Harbour Bridge, the sun reflected off the 72-foot Prada Luna Rossa catamaran, the Italian flag waving in the breeze, the ocean glittering. At the time, I had no idea what the beautiful catamaran was here in Auckland for; but I just read that it is one of the yachts that will be in the America's Cup 2013 race. The Italians plan to stay in New Zealand until March, heading to the Louis Vuitton Cup challengers' race in June, in San Francisco. The winner of that will compete against the Oracle, current holders of the America's Cup. Sometimes I wish I had kept up sailing, it looks like so much fun.

Photos from Vogue

Thanksgiving

I have so much to be thankful for; and as we don't have Thanksgiving in New Zealand perhaps I have never really taken one day aside to devote to really think about how much I have, which is such a shame really. I just got home from the opening event of our Grad Show for art school; what an amazing opportunity it has been to be able to spend four years here, learning and developing not only an artistic practice but getting to hang out with the most wonderful bunch of friends anyone could ever ask for. And I'm also thankful for tonight's dinner and dessert; delicious seafood risotto and chocolate soup with mini pancakes from Elliott Stables. Best.

Hiatus

After sporadic posts and a brief hiatus I am back to posting! After art school finished, I have been keeping busy with work and enjoying summer. On Thursday we headed out to Piha beach in a convoy of cars, stopping for some delicious ice cream on the way; spending the afternoon and early evening in the glorious sunshine. Barefoot, we climbed the rocks over to the lagoon where we swam in the warmer water, and saw a seal only about five meters away on the rocks ahead. Spending time with amazing friends, eating melon, reading a travel book, getting a tan, and having Piha burgers and chips for dinner; the perfect start to summer! I hadn't been to Piha since the beginning of the year, and it was nice to make new memories at a place that will always be special.

Last night we launched fireworks and sat around a bonfire in the backyard of my friends' flat - was lovely just to relax and watch the flames dancing.

The Fifth of November

The fifth of November was my final day of art school; the end of four years filled with ridiculous amounts of art and conceptuality; inky-painty happiness, squealy girl-chats and nail polish obsessions, cafe and ice cream dates, late-night no-sleep deadlines, and now tears of sadness that this is over, time spent with the best and most wonderful friends ever. What better way to end such a journey than to dance the night away in an art gallery. It's so strange to be finished, I don't even know what I feel.

Summer

Just picked up my official acceptance letter from the University of California, Santa Barbara! Extremely excited; three more days of art school left before it's time to relish the summer sun and to prepare for six months overseas! Life is beautiful.

Today

What a great day! In the morning I was in a photoshoot held in the library with some friends held, where we set it up like a Danish still-life crossed with a contemporary picnic - so much fun! And then this afternoon, someone walked into the gallery while we were having a casual artists' discussion and asked to buy one of my etchings from the exhibition! Pretty excited. Also, NINE whole months since we were on a boat dolphin watching in the South Island for my friend's 21st. How time has flown.

Linearità

Tonight was the opening preview of my first proper art exhibition, held at the George Fraser Gallery in Auckland. Such an amazing night with wonderful friends and family, it was lots of fun and well worth the stresses and anxieties that come with any exhibition. Even tried spritzers of white wine with lemonade and then red wine with lemonade. Delicious and perfect for summer! Going to miss Elam so much next year.

Blessed

In the midst of organising an overly chaotic schedule of an upcoming exhibition, a dissertation essay, an entire year’s worth of art due, sorting out everything for an overseas exchange next year, and juggling work three evenings a week; I have been blessed with THE most amazing and incredible friends and family who I am so, so thankful for. Gotta remember how to breathe.

UCSB

This afternoon I received my acceptance letter from the University of California, Santa Barbara for an exchange for the 2013 Winter and Spring quarters! Extremely excited but nervous for the adventure; have spent hours making pro/con lists about each of the halls. Leaning towards either Manzanita or San Rafael because there will be less freshmen, but still unsure. Any recommendations?

Ventures

I have spent the most part of this year being stressed and unsure about my diversion from etching and my new venture into video installation art. But, after a positive and extremely helpful half hour discussion with Alex Monteith about my work today, I am feeling more excited and hopeful about its resolution than ever. She is the best lecturer ever.

Two Months

In two months exactly, Elam will be over for me. Probably forever. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, I'm utterly terrified as to how much work I need to get done before this, by all the people I will miss, and the fact that I will no longer have a 'home' at university. Nowhere to go at lunchtime in between classes; nowhere to just hang out with friends and chat about ridiculous things. But I am also excited to move on after four years here, as much as I adore it, this year has been so stressful and I need a break from the intensity that art school throws at you. Excited to find out which campus I will be placed at in California. Very nervous about so many things right now.

In other news, I just won two tickets to the 17th Italian Film Festival 2012 New Zealand. I have only ever watched Italian films on DVD, so excited to see one at the cinema.